Triggers & Sisterhood

As we move along our paths – some days like children and other days like ripe golden women, we come to know that any given moment consists a thread.  The threads are like stories, in our bodies all linked to tendons, neurons and a full complex messaging system.  Some days we sail on gentile waters and others it is as though we move through the eye of the storm in turbulence.  Oh the joy of being human!   All of the feelings arise (Triggers) and they send signals through our bodies that make us want to hide, run, go into trauma or implode with so much feeling.  For me I stay put- sometimes in trauma and literally fire off and I feel like I am going to give birth.  My sensitivity is out of this world uncomfortable.  This is my path today and I am learning through it!

I am triggered all the time and no matter how much so called “work” I do, its still there. On some days with more loving kindness and other days cruelty.  This is the journey in this moment.  When the triggers come and start to fire there are systematic wind chimes that fizzle through this volcanic body, almost like a siren sounding and sending me into a field of tenderness where rivers of perpetual beliefs spin me into a stratosphere.  I spin with it some days and others I manage it but really it manages me.  Then I temper, it quiets and it starts again until somehow it doesn’t anymore.  This is an inner world and what has changed through my so called “work” is the way I meet the world with it.

Anyway, we are human and its important to let others in.  Otherwise shame eats at us.  So today I faced a trigger and I told my sister about it.  I was honest and we both know it has nothing to do with her.  She gets it!  So in my sharing, I de-armored and aloud my emotions to be witnessed by someone I trust. This is the “work” I think.  Maybe we can’t fix everything,  but we can be real about what is going on in our relationships with our selves.  It de-stigmatizes it and everyone becomes more human.

As a result we feel more safe within because we are sharing our selves (its not dark) its a program one that we are all navigating in some form.  In this polarized world we make everything out to be a villain and that is why the body contests all of these emotions.   Not because the emotions are bad, but we have placed our shitty judgements on them.

In short, being a conscious human requires us to learn how to navigate the world.  We are the ONLY judge and so the journey is kindness.  Can I just be kind to myself?  Can I just be kind to others?  In this gentle brush stroke we develop self compassion and we become less adaptive to the behaviors of the world.  We develop a sense of calmness and fortitude and we grow out of the conditioning and become more nurtured.

We need to talk about things that are happening inside and share them with those we love.  I know there is medicine in telling truth.  We are all psychic and feel it anyway.  So why not share our hearts if we feel we are ready too.

I have wonderful women in my life!  Sisters that are gentile and loving, gifted and wonderful!   I know I am also one of these women,  and together we are walking one another home.





Today is a celebration, I have my uterus ! 4 Years ago- October 4th, 2015 I had a womb surgery to remove many fibroids from my Holy Womb. I went under anesthesia not knowing if I was going to wake up with my uterus. It was a horrendous death and Rebirth, a spiritual embodiment process that awakened the life out of me. And it further solidified my commitment to serve the Holy Womb of our Planet and the women who create life through this temple space.

With all of my sacred parts in my body and I give thanks to Great Mother! I just called and left a message for my surgeon, to thank him. If I had gone with the first physician I would have been gutted. This patriarchal system that takes life is being reborn! Today I also move inward for deeper forgiveness towards this system and in doing so I unchain myself and lean more towards life.

Many issues regarding womb IF NOT ALL are passed down through the lineage – womb by womb. My Mother had to have a hysterectomy and she thinks my grandmother had fibroids too.



Today I commit to the further release of all lineage karma, residual grief, rage, violence. Any energies throughout time that have sought resolve through my body, I offer them all healing, compassion and a doorway of renewed life! Today I lay it all down again as an offering to the earth, may my sorrow turn to butterflies and life dance through my body. My body is a living celebration of ancestors!

For the powerful Women who no longer have your physical womb…you are equally as magical, whole and amazing. Our energetic womb is always present birthing new life forms. We each have our own unique paths. I bow To All women and all circumstances are different. I pray that we find more places to honor and grieve the death, and celebrate each new phase of life.


Breaking with Tradition – By: Jacqueline Rolandelli

An invitation of self reflection.


tra·​di·​tion | \ trə-ˈdi-shən  \

Definition of tradition

1aan inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior (such as a religious practice or a social custom)
ba belief or story or a body of beliefs or stories relating to the past that are commonly accepted as historical though not verifiable
2the handing down of information, beliefs, and customs by word of mouth or by example from one generation to another without written instruction
3cultural continuity in social attitudes, customs, and institutions

4characteristic manner, method, or stylein the best liberal tradition

This article longs to be written as an inquiry into our own perspectives around tradition and how it is the story behind the story, of our day to day lives.   Tradition is a beautiful melody that is woven through time, through memories, blood and bone.  It is almost like a guiding post from our  lineage, to remember who you are and what you long to be.   It can be the kiss of remembering,  your strength and courage as well as the perseverance of a people.  These people that live within you, which grant you the gift of perseverance which you then bring forward in your modern day life.
You may feel you have faced enormous challenges in your life and so you learned to persevere.  I will invite the idea that the gift is what asked to be recognized and so you brought forward the experience to taste it.  In doing so you have brought forward a silent tradition in your lineage/a gift.  It was waiting for you!
All of the joy and hardships that our ancestors learned through, are not only available to you  but are silently working through you.  These subtle currants of energy run through the body and soul of us all.
There are spiritual traditions that we consciously or unconsciously utilize to deepen our sense of connection, belonging and to keep alive that which is Sacred.  We come together and share our hearts (whether through ancient spiritual practices or church) to re-ignite traditions that strengthen our sense of self, our community and unite us with something bigger than ourselves.
Tradition operates in everything we do.  From gathering with family for Sunday dinner or the ways in which we raise our children.  The way we eat seafood on on Christmas eve in the Italian traditions.  It is really endless in the ways we are interfacing with traditions through thoughts and beliefs that operate within our psyche every minute of every day without our awareness.  I feel it’s important to understand here and reflect again on the full meaning of the word tradition, gaze back up at the top.
In so many ways this is absolutely magical and the greatest blessing.  The intelligence working here is miraculous and it is the gift that keeps on giving.  The way we sing or dance and pass on stories to our children.
Now I am going to bring to light the other silent traditions that run through our bodies.  These are again if we look upon them with lightness, – traditions asking us to be challenged and maybe healed.   In every lineage there are traditions/beliefs and energetic currants that are formed through trauma, oppression and a means of survival.
Our people, once indigenous to land with no name have traveled far and wide in human development and in doing so have faced the full spectrum of duality.  They have had to fight hard to protect land and those they love, overcome war, colonization, struggle, poverty, violence, storms, suppression, hunger, death and betrayal.  Over time these experiences have altered their development, and created narratives which became traditions.
We have healed a great deal of the pain within the blood of our lineages and it is still the greatest work.  When we become aware of what is running through us, we have a choice in what we engage in and transmit forward.  What are we choosing to pass on?  Over time we have built allegiances with our lineage and unconsciously with the energy that runs through the line regardless of whether it destroys or serves.  So we continue to use the energy like second nature unaware of the pain and trauma it inflicts or the way it smalls or chokes the life force of the next generation.  New life being born!
To become aware is the key to then being able to observe why you would want to continue living out something that is not true to YOUR nature.   And you will likely have to dive into  the question of, Who am I?  With each generation there is a broadening of light and life force and opportunity to expand upon that which proceeded it.
Let me give you a few examples:
Let’s say your people were nomadic and traveled with the seasons or traveled with the day.  You have felt unstable in your life and always wanted to keep moving, experiencing and just couldn’t seem to understand why you just couldn’t settle down.  This is one of the reasons.  This is karma!  It will play out for you as it has so deliberately within me and now my son.
Until the soul completes the cycle and honors it – and then blesses the lineage.  A choice is then made to break with tradition and this can be very challenging.  We have unspoken agreements, and for many of us Loyalty is a very powerful gift.  It keeps us looping in patterns and habits that will have us believe if we break this tradition, we will break with the people we come from.  This distortion is what keeps us in conflict with ourselves.  If it doesn’t bring us joy and keeps us from our souls deeper desire, why do we stay true to it?  Do we have a choice?
When we feel discomfort or pain in our lives, we can look more closely at what is operating.  What tradition/belief ancestral/family karma is conflicting with my desire or my truth.  What is this tension or smallness weighing on my big idea.  What the f@ck is really happening here?  What is asking to be awakened within this discomfort?  Can I stop for a second and just listen instead of keeping my head down?  Can I elevate my awareness and inquire?
Here is another example:  My Grandmother lost her parents at a very young age along with all her siblings.  They all died from the spanish influenza.  My Grandmother was placed in a home and was raised by incredibly cruel and violent nuns.  This energy may have been passed down and may be the reason I have had anger towards catholocism.  It may also be the reason that I myself was removed from my home and placed into a home as a teenager.  This was my family karma.
Now I am older and I have more awareness I can see how it played out in my life.  I was gifted this awareness and so I was gifted the choice.  It is a habit until you know it is, then it becomes a choice.  Thank you Sister Oneya for this teaching.
I met with my deep sense of knowing and I communed with my lineage and I made the choice to break this tradition.  I have not broken with my family (although I would, if it caused me harm).  I have instead chosen my own life, my own energy and to stand in something that is true to who I am.  In doing this for myself, I create a new way forward for my lineage and the energy is transformed and healed through the line.
I notice how obligated I have felt to carry burdens and weight but I was misinformed about this.  In honoring my own life, I honor life – life is the only real truth that is always – ALIVE!   My lineage loves me and wants me to be free.  They want me to walk forward as the breath and life of our blood.  They hold my heart as I face the pain of breaking and what has seemingly been broken.   The pain and loss of the life of my own people.
I can still feel this overwhelming sense of selfishness.  That choosing myself is somehow wrong or that I am abandoning others that I love.  In truth I abandon myself when I am true to something that is not aligned with my heart.  It takes incredible strength to face this, because our beliefs and societal norms have been mostly based on external authority.  So standing in a new truth is revolutionary.  Its breaking with complacency!
If I kept on unconsciously choosing to play out the energy, it would keep showing itself throughout time , through my son, or my grandchildren until someone had the strength to challenge it.  Let me be the one to stand in my sovereignty and lead my line forward!   There is a feeling in my body that in choosing something new I actually restore the original fabric of life prior to the trauma or indoctrination.   Different times require different traditions!  Creator, May I be Brave and choose the traditions that will serve me and the world and which ones must die through me.
I break tradition with poverty!   I break tradition with violence!  I break tradition with manipulation and disrespect!  I break tradition with hunger and female malnourishment!  I break tradition with obedience, shame and malice!  I break tradition with fear and sexual deprivation!  I break tradition with betrayal!  I break tradition with
Self hatred, denial, unworthiness and settling for crumbs!  I break tradition with living in fear!  I break tradition with all Anti Life energies that crush my longing for life.  I break with friends, partners, family and children who choose to engage unconsciously and cause harm to me, the earth or themselves.  I hold myself and all others in compassion as we learn together and grow.  This is a life time body of work.
I honor and carry forward the traditions of my lineage:  Resilience, Grace, Compassion, Courage, Loyalty to self and then all others,  Magic, Healing, Wisdom, folklore traditions, Reverence for the Earth and all of its people.  Respect for self and others!  Spiritual pride, dignity, WORTHINESS, Wholeness, Laughter and lightness,  Peace, Majestic, Royalty, Decency!
Through Love, Radical Honesty, Radical Truth I Stand as the new way!  I stand with my Lineage with Courage and Grace and choose a new path.

Union 2019 -man & woman -earth & sky

This year 2019 holds such a deeper thread of Mystery/Mastery Simplicity. There is truly a more embodied lived actualization of Spirit as Form ~ I feel I grasp the concept, We are the ones we have been waiting for. I feel more ready than ever to let myself be nourished and to live in joy.

2018 broke my heart and dragged me through rock and mud and destroyed my dreams and I almost lost faith – The paradox was so rich, My pain so lovingly sat side by side with joy and openings – My tears became laughter, then more tears and my heart will never be the same! Resilience is one of the sacred gifts I have been cultivating this lifetime, I am slowly coming through and gestating new dreams and when its time I know I will be a good Mother to them… And give them fully to the world.


Written January 2nd, 2019IMG_20181208_173249119

Rites of Passage – Mother To Be Ceremony

Rites Of Passage ~ Mother to be ceremony 
Ceremonial blessing for a Woman BeComing a Mama

It is a holy and beautiful experience bearing witness to women as they grow into new expressions of themselves. When a woman is pregnant she is not only birthing a child but rebirthing herself.

Rites of passage~are practiced to mark the transition from one phase of life to another. It is essentially a death and a rebirth as she is embodying the Divine Mother.

These ancient traditions honor the spiritual nature of life, while deepening our acceptance and understanding and celebrating our humanity. The art of ceremony anchors and supports a woman to psychological prepare to take her place in her new role, supported by her family and community.

Women gathering together brings enormous healing. When I facilitate an initiatory ceremony for a woman it is medicine for the Mama, Me and the Community. Tears flow for the Mother in me who felt completely unsupported in birth and I grieve on behalf of my matriarchal lineage. While simultaneously filling me with excitement and joy that we are finally here now. I use my experience as fuel to my fire, to stay true to the needs of our women, men and children. After thousands of years of patriarchy which forced our feminine rituals underground. This Mother to Be, is changing the entire dynamic of her lineage and the world.

The time returns!!! Here we are again, steeped in wisdom and remembering. Today I hold the red thread as a wisdom carrier of my lineage. I pass on Rites of Passage to empower women to celebrate their holiness. My silent prayer is that they will pass on this very grace to the next generation, friends and communities.

#We are the Ones we have been waiting for.
#AncientWisdom # Re-membering #HolyWOman #Wakethewitches#Ancestors #Sisterhood #Holy Motherhood #HighPriestess#Magicinourbones

Thank you Mama Sarah for bringing me in, I am so honored to have witnessed your beauty  I bow!

Thank you Irma, Cris and Andrea for being part of my remembering.

Photographer, Ina Schnyder

Holy Mother Body



Holy Mother Sharing 

Yesterday I went to the naked spa again, which brings up so much emotion around being seen, how I have not seen myself and ancestral and societal conditioning around our beautiful shapes and forms. How I have hidden my own beauty from men (having sex in the dark). Hiding from my own child, covering up instead of letting him see his mamas body. And mostly from myself, not really enjoying her.

And it disgusts me to have done this to myself! And this is part of where the shame thickens, I betrayed myself. Because I know the truth, I am exquisite just like every other body roaming this earth. It enrages me that we live in a world that women are taught to loathe their bodies with the implied message of (YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH) .

Normally at the spa, I have to take a deep breath and literally will myself to take off my clothes. This time, not so much!  . What I experienced yesterday amidst the 100s of naked female bodies, was the deep presence of my Mother body. When you see my naked marked up body – you know, I am the Mother.

As I rose out of the water, breasts sagging with huge areola thanks to pregnancy, belly chubs doing its thing, was this sense of loving awareness. I am marked as the Holy instrument of the Mother. I didn’t see any women with stretch marks yesterday it was though mine were the highlight of the room. And I felt strength in this! Like these primal scars were a badge of holiness. I was proud of my body. I was proud to be Cody’s Mother and to own this power as a sacred gift. I broadcasted my soft Mother essence by embracing the gift imprinted on my body. This feeling brought me to tears took my breathe away.

Deep down I am still healing from the societal shame which I swallowed being a teenage Mother. I was cast out by family and some community because I chose a different path. Their ignorance wasn’t fully rooted in malice but fear because I chose a path less trotted.

Unkind Words spoken attribute to my concept of Mother – body image and it still burns in my belly – “Your Father must be rolling over in his grave over this”. “What will the neighbors think” – What kind of Mother will you be – What kind of life will you be able to give to this child? Uneducated – Incapable – Alone – No Money -Selfish – You can’t take care of yourself, how will you care for a child. #Trash #BadMother#Notenough #Faliure CANCEL!

But fuck that  . I knew this was HER calling for me and so I armored up, while giving myself to the Mother with hope of being a different kind of Mother. And I was definitely a different kind of Mother. 

Being a Mother in this society has been so challenging for our female species. The guilt, never being good enough, never getting it right, being responsible seemingly for every outcome, sucks the very life out of our experience. (Thank God we are shifting this collectively) This is the Great Work!

Walking the path of the Mother has been incredibly painful for me and yet it is my gift to this world. As I deepen my healing, I have moments that I am euphoric with love and other moments where I am filled with rage. Jesus this vessel holds so much! I bow to the ancestors, our Mother’s that raised children through the 5,000 years of patriarchy. And I grieve for the Mother in me, but I choose to no longer feel sorry for her.

I use my strength to deepen my sense of purpose to support women in embodying the Mother, feeling supported, trusting their wisdom and finding ways to nourish themselves. Accessing all the things I didn’t have or didn’t know I had. While unapologetically raising our children however the fuck we choose too. Preparing them and liberating them from the shackles of patriarchy and raising them in a whole new yummy and hopefully conscious way that is filled with more joy.

Mothers endure! Their physical bodies are banged up, stretched out beyond recognition – there are sacrifices that are made to create life! Its a holy mess! Nothing goes how we want it too. This is the nature of life on earth! The more support we have the easier it is…

We are warriors, lovers, and portals of creation…I Bow again and again and vow to fully awaken and meet the gifts bestowed. In 25 years so much has changed in the realm of mothering and all things birthing. We are making progress even though I wish it would come faster. But it is happening! I birthed more gently than my Mother and with each generation new consciousness is born and things change. We are the ones we have been waiting for. This body image reflection morphed into a deeper message, one I carry in my bones. #Freedom
#Selflove #Messymothering #Goddesslives #MarkedCreator #Holyvessel#HOLYHIGHPRIESTESS

You, Only You – And God Knows Who You Are – Credentials to the Unknown? Get outta here!

I was just listening to a spirit brother, Michael Teal and I was inspired by something he expressed in his video.  🙂 . The interviewer asked him, do you have certifications? To which he replied, “back then people just were what they were.  You are born with it!” Indigenous medicine people, witches, priestesses, don’t have certifications.  People of Spirit with their gifts in tact are naturally awakened or passed down through the lineage.  Breathe!
He hit the nail on the head – and this is something I struggled with for a while and sometimes, I still forget who I am and when I do, it is a disaster of matrix silliness.  From the very beginning of my (so called awareness of my spiritual path – as though I wasn’t walking it my whole life ). I could give 2 f@cks about a piece of paper, I was so thirsty to feel and BE myself and to commune with my aliveness.  I was clear I wanted to embody God/Goddess, Period!  This was the longing.  It was so much fun to open up the mystical and re-member, as well as greet the family in spirit as the illusion was parting.
Some people just remember and have very powerful conscious experiences and others have a calling and or a curiosity of the unseen realms, and it all opens as it does.  We wake up in our own unique ways based on our karma and esoteric physiology.  In the ancient mystery schools, which were mostly all taught orally (we didn’t offer certifications).  Our crafts were cultivated and used in the community – gifts were shared.  We DEVELOPED and CULTIVATED magic.  This was an experiment!  I don’t know why today that feels different, but it is not!  Its just that so many of us have bodies of esoteric wisdom being born.
Over time traditions changed and the species grew.  Its never been fixed but always evolving or experimenting, as this is what consciousness does.  We did work together as families of initiates/(pre-religion) to witness and support one another.  Remember, back in the day tribes stayed together because their lives depended on it.  Pre-Humanity in Atlantis and MU – we were developing all sorts of technology.  There is always trial and lots of error.  It will never be perfect but hopefully easier.  – We have to keep an eye on this as we play with bodies of certification – as this can open another can of worms.
We dived deep into experimental living – we dived into the unknown.  We studied planets, witchcraft/esoteric mysteries/consciousness/elements/magic occult – whatever you call it.  The unknown simply is just that – the Mystery.  How can one be certified in the unknown?  Contemplate this for a second.  Now have a chuckle out loud and hug yourself if you have fallen into this matrix too.  Also the fall in, of once we study something, we somehow think we are an expert on it.  Hehehe its a doorway to even more unknown!
Now I want to clarify something here – My view on this is this!  You form your own view.  – You either have it or you don’t.  You are born with it and its accessible to you or its not!  Be who you are!  You know you are steeped in magic or You karmically cannot see that you are!  The trainings and certifications are fantastic but don’t ever think that certification give you permission to be who you are.  You cannot receive permission from another human to BE YOU!  or to practice magic. PERIOD!
I have heard people say out loud, well I am a certified crystal keeper, or I am……and not just intuitive.  Some how, pooh poohing those who move through organic channels of God given learning.  To this I want to say I honor your hard work in learning through a teacher (I love teachers, I am one) – but you do realize that you are learning from someone who has intuitively remembered/studied the ancient information and formulated a class for you.  (blind spot). I am not speaking into coaches – they are valuable but they are not shamans, although they have medicine.  (another article on that soon)
This is great, as so many of us are sharing wisdom to make life easier for the planet.  Our ancestors did so much work for this to even be possible.  For example – Jesus and Magdalene passed on teachings to us.  Once you learn something pass it on, so that we all have access to it.  I am so grateful that my Swami and so many of my teachers passed on valuable information to assist me in developing my consciousness.  Also, on the flip side of this – it is SO IMPORTANT to HONOR traditions and teachings that have been passed.  Note your teachers, they have worked so hard to pass on wisdom to you!  God flows in all ways direct and directly through others.  IMG_9051
 My point, all ways of awakening and learning are unique but WE ALL MUST UNDERSTAND – (Magic, soul, creation and healing all mysteries unknown) – cannot be classified like a social work degree.  No matter how much spirituality is expanding in the modern world through Quantum physics- Don’t get it twisted, it is an ancient sacred embodiment and cannot be commercialized even though everyone thinks they are a Priestess and Shaman for $999.00.  NOPE! It is a calling, an art and something you cannot shake – I know I sometimes try!
So in summation – Cut it out!  Use your gifts and show up as you are!   You do not need external permission and when you start to own that, you will have more than your share of clients and opportunities to gift your courage to the world.   (the lesson that keeps on revealing) .  My teacher Sri Kaleshwar says – be a soul scientist.  This is what true mystics are and I am overjoyed to have so many incredible beings who are doing the great work.  Who are birthing knew consciousness, communing with spirit and nature and writing it and or sharing it.
Some people are chefs and architects and others are Mystics or Medicine people.  Be whatever you are, or both.  My point is (watch the consciousness you are operating in.).  I will watch mine too!  Its a sneaky biatch! We all need to re-wire.
Humans like to receive certifications to mark the efforts and or be witnessed in completion.  Avatars, probably not so much.  🙂 I honor our human experience.  Just remember that God/Goddess is the only real authority that lives inside of you.
With that said, training and initiations are wonderful and important and have really supported me in fully integrating major gifts and awakenings.  Journeying with the Fountain of Life,  Mystery School has inspired me and taught me so much.  Being a student of Sri Kaleshwar has brought me full circle deeper into my dharma.  As long as you understand- the paper at the end does not seal you as Whatever you signed up for.  In actuality You are signing up to receive a consciousness and or awaken a gift or have a transformational quantum leap experience.  It either opens you to deepen your own gnosis or its just another paper to fill your emptiness.  Walking the path of Spirit is a personal path – one that is between you and Spirit!
My training began with direct experience with Spirit at my alter in my bedroom.  Then I took a few trainings to open up faster, I was in a rush.   I was sent out to re-member in the world and use my souls deep skill-full magic. I didn’t have any context for what I was learning and that was the point.  Unlearn and remember!  Then I immersed myself in more trainings. Just like so many of us, I went through the phase of – but I don’t have any certifications.  I am shaking my head as I release another layer of this BS today.  Creator doesn’t ask permission but creates.  It so on!

Abortion & Miscarriage – Let’s bring light into the darkness –



CALLING ALL WOMEN IN!  – MEN!!, Born of women who have Mamas, Wives, Daughters and Sons, this is equally for you!  We all need THIS awareness so that we can help bridge the gap and heal the generational pain stored in Women’s bodies.

This post is NOT to EVER debate or even discuss (don’t bring it) right and wrong on life and death.  I am not the one! 🙂  – I AM clear, your body and YOUR choice-PERIOD!   So this is devoted to women and men who have experienced abortion or miscarriage.  I am going to share some spiritual back ground in hopes of bringing awareness (light into the darkness) so that we can begin to understand, heal and even flourish from our experiences.

Just because it takes less then 30 minutes to have an abortion, and women often go back to work the next day, doesn’t mean its healthy.   Our society is evolving but lets be clear it has never been sustainable for woman.  Our culture leads women away from themselves.  Through compassion and awareness, we are returning.

It is so important that women/couples fully acknowledge loss, so that new life can emerge.  From the moment of conception your body/soul  begin to shift into the primal intelligence of the Mother.  When we terminate a pregnancy or miscarry without full acknowledgment (time to be with it and feel it) a distortion forms and we psychologically become confused.  Part of us has moved on while the other part is still connected to the soul as a Mother.   Now this is to your soul as a mother, as well as the soul who is incarnating.  There is a loss unrealized.

​The psyche fragments and we begin to numb and or disassociate  from our feminine maternal nature and our bodies often shut down, and armor up to hide the pain!  We then simultaneously inherit shame and guilt while we silently grieve.  This causes soul loss, disconnection and leads to more loss, and illness.  This is why so many women have multiple abortions and miscarriages.  We didn’t just get sloppy!  There is a much deeper soul mechanism playing out in the creation.  The soul re-capitulates the event – if it is not addressed in a loving and holistic manner the first time around, we may get to replay it again and again. This is heart breaking!

There may likely be a lineage piece too,  something seeking healing in your Mother line.   What ever was not healed in the WOMEN who came before you, may be brought through you.  These wombs are soul homes, portals of life and death and they should be revered as such.  Its time to awaken and understand the sanctity of our bodies, souls, and our capacity as creators.  We cannot leave our souls in the hands of our current medical system, we must seek our own council and return to our body wisdom.


  • Emotional shut down, disassociation from our bodies
  • May cause hormonal imbalance and alter the way we cycle monthly
  • Overwhelm of repressed shame and guilt – impacting our sexuality and pleasure
  • Our bodies may experience physical or chronic pain
  • Infertility – or the opposite -repeat urgency to create life through more pregnancies
  • We may be more prone to abnormal cells and experience growths such as fibroids, cysts, endometriosis etc.
  • The next child you carry in your womb will be impacted by your losses (big topic)
  • And MORE!



  • Revisit the experience with new eyes – check in with the body
  • Get support from your sisters
  • Journey deeper and be open to listen and feel what reveals
  • Feel in, is the soul still with you?  6 out of 10 times the answer is YES!
  • Most people have not done a releasing ritual to release the soul back


  • Lovingly liberate yourself and bring the unconscious into consciousness
  • Drop into your feelings
  • Bring healing to your heart & womb
  • Learn from this experience & share your wisdom with other women
  • Free up space for creation and come back into empowerment



I was 16 when I had my first abortion and my grief was intense.  For one year I longed and suffered and my body shut down.  NO MORE INTERNAL ORGASMS!  I became pregnant purposely a year later and had the child (yay Cody!). I had another abortion a few years later and was so GRATEFUL to have the option to terminate, that I didn’t deal with it.  These events changed my life.

There was a great deal of child loss in my lineage through miscarriage. Devastation handed down the line, womb by womb.  More on this in my next article.

About a month ago I did a ceremony to honor all the losses in my lineage.  I was fortunate enough to do this with my Mother.  Many souls were with us and so much room has been made.

To be clear I am VERY aware that abortions and miscarriages are different experiences, but I am addressing both in one place.  Where it all takes place in our female psyche and in our wombs. The cycle of life and death is the same but the experience is not.

Women need love!  Women need compassion!  WOMEN NEED SUPPORT!   It is time to create a sustainable infrastructure that supports life.  YOUR LIFE!  Not just the babies you carry!

In service,



Ancient wisdom returning to the modern world



Is This Mine?

Is this mine?  This is a potent question that most empaths and spirited folks really need to reflect on.  It has come to my attention, yet AGAIN 🙂  because sometimes it takes me a while,  🙂 the illusion is real and I sometimes forget the basics, as I graduate into other areas of magic and expanded awareness.  But the grounded and simple steps are golden and so I anchor this here now, and invite you to consider this as well – WE MUST ALWAYS RETURN TO THIS QUESTION.  Is this mine?

In this reflection I want to talk about Ancestral imprints, and how to hone in on what is coming in or up for resolve and what we have the ability to do about it.   What is mine?  What is collective?  As we touch base on what we refer to as collective, and how the martyr archetype is persistent   Ugh I lovingly had a burial for mine this morning.

So thanks to my own inner process I have come to a place where there is no where to turn,  but to learn a new way of navigating and my life literally depends on it.  Life wants to live! (we will keep learning new ways because we are always evolving) So here we go!

Disclaimer:  This piece is written in my understanding in this moment and it will likely evolve.  So implement what feels true for you.  I am not your Mother! 🙂  This statement alone is a song of liberation.  Freedom is a choice!

Many of us, who are living our daily lives have forgotten that we are also connected through a lineage of lives.  In our humanity we somehow have come to believe everything is about us, but in actuality our existence has everything to do with the WE that we come from.  Womb by womb souls birth through the Mother before them and embody programs/beliefs, trauma, emotions, character traits, mannerisms and so on.  We even birth ancestral protection mechanisms.  We did this purposely in choosing our parents.   We generally receive far less from the paternal lineage and of course we do pick up a slew of goodies from our environment.  There is a great deal of unraveling to get to know our own intrinsic value. 32241666-300x201 The threshold has been crossed.  This year is the year we show up like never before.  At the end of 2017, I received some downloads/knowings whatever you call them.  ❤  I saw clouds of illusion/global karmic imprints turning into water, and dissolving. My personal karma has and is in the process of lifting in ways I had prayed for all my life.  Can I get an amen!  This is real deal!  Hence another move is at hand.  I am seeing it in clients, and in the stratosphere  itself, when I use my witch eyes.  🙂

As we continue to soften into the sweet and nourishing embrace of the Divine Mother and Father, which is infusing all of those who are in a state of allowing.  We are ultimately releasing the depths of soul deprivation – lack of nourishment which has intrinsically been handed down through what we know as the shitty patriarchy.  

For many of us (my hand is raised high)  we have been journeying through time, like diligent explorers in consciousness seeking resolve.  In this deep devotional state of fulfilling our missions, (often confused with dharma) we have sought out that which is unconscious to shed more light on who we are, why we are here, and where we are going.  Being in the flow and showing up when required.  This is the path of the soul to find its way to the place we know as home.  Continuously birthing itself an dying simultaneously. Full on!  

We all know the only way out is in.  So many of us on the planet got really busy going in. This was absolutely necessary.  We went deep womb/soul diving and some of us never came out.  In many ways I feel the experiment went to far.  Now we need to learn we don’t have to take on the problems of the world.  We are free to live!

We went through hologram after hologram and barrels of trauma and turned over every possibility to explore endless threads because we were so desperate to release all our suppression and sought not only relief from these imprints, but FUCKING JUSTICE with the hope that the next generations WILL NOT HAVE TO EXPERIENCE THIS!  This is karma 😉 Day after day I was aware of more toxic threads or old stories seeking me, or was I actually seeking them? I absolutely love exploring Spirit/shadow lands. I am a scorpio and I’m like a female Goddess MacGyver!  This world became much more intriguing than my human life and I am now making my way back to a more balanced existence. This was my soul path, no apologies! I move into deeper acceptance daily. preview image Baby Moves inside a Mothers Womb There were huge shifts and I have grown exponentially and on most days I am grateful.  Then there is the awareness that most of what I believed was mine, was not mine and I have spent a great portion of my precious life on a karmic mission. Martyring was much more dynamic. 🙂  This is not to make fun of myself or anyone experiencing this because it is part of the experience. Really I could lament my whole life, but wait, I already have.  🙂 This is what wants to shift for me personally.  We all have our own process.  In this next phase I am going to embody the celebration archetype.  Dance Bitch Dance!  hehe ❤

This was part of my learning and is so, for many of us.  It is also training!  My deepest learning was held in the archetype of the Mother (which I have felt since my adolescence which also became teenage motherhood for me) and the martyr has been her theme.  I have felt responsible for every lost soul and it is exhausting to play Goddess in this way!  Retiring!  🙂 I feel its an important message FOR ALL that we take hold of the opportunities provided to us at this time. That means if this message resonates for you, YOU could be done with so much of the relentless spiritual work you felt so devoted to doing before, which will create more room for you to step into your true capacity as a CREATOR.  Ahhhhh Exhale!  

This is NOT an invitation to walk away from your calling but to let go of the way your perceive it and get connected to an even deeper calling.  I feel clear this is a juicy acceleration process that we are all being gifted.  Remember the longer we hold on to shit, the longer our lineage has to hold onto it. We are the true birthers of our lineage  and we need to take care.  (feeling my sweet swami)  

HERE GOES! Ancestral/Societal imprinting – So as psychic people information streams through us with emotion to be released.  Instead of assuming its yours and diving in which can be habitual.  I invite you to take a deep breath and just let it move and see what it requires.  It may ask you to commune with it as you may see imagery or just get a knowing.  I want you to remember to ask:  Is this mine?  This may take practice but it will come.  You are writing the script, remember that. Once you get a read on the information which generally happens through inquiry.  Spirit show me what I need to see for my highest good!.. thank you..  We can do this in several ways but really check in what is most aligned for you in the moment.  

*Sometimes we can simply transmute it.  I used to jump to this option because I was afraid of giving it back. Will the other person be able to handle it?  Will they still love me?  Will they actually physically die? Somehow eating other peoples garbage felt so natural and let me tell you, THERE IS NOTHING LOVING ABOUT HARMING YOURSELF AT THE EXPENSE OF ANOTHER. (Mother Wound)  Forfeiting your life is cruel and never a good idea.  I am still learning this lesson fully and I suspect we all are deepening our awareness of this.

*What ever you took on simply give it back!  Its never too late to give it back and allow the other person to take full responsibility and learn their karmic lesson.  Also its a way of taking up space and claiming your life as a priority.  I found when I gave back some of the pain I was carrying for family, this was well received.  At the soul level we are much more agile and aware. And if by slim chance the person stops loving you, guess what ❤ Its a miraculous blessing that you will be free of them. Sometimes this actually happens so you can learn and there is no mistake.  Its all good!  

*HERE IS SOME MORE IMPORTANT MEDICINE:  You are super powerful and have access to EVERYTHING in creation. What we are aware of we can utilize.  I feel we need to reflect on the under currents of our vocation and service as there is a major overhaul coming through to purify the ways in which we have held our bridges, and found false value in identifying ourselves with what we do, instead of who we are.  We are wonderful and the game is changing!  There are fields of ancestral consciousness and collective consciousness which you/I – are/have moving through us.  When you become more aware that you want to honor your own life and your soul is re-educated and understands that it has the capacity to release it, it will!  Awareness is everything!  Invoke this now! The medicine is acknowledging your capacity and knowing you can ask this to be done. Thy will be done!

Set intention to release everything that no longer serves you and everything that doesn’t belong to you.  Be clear that you are choosing to hand over everything that you carry for your ancestors and the collective to be dissolved. This may not be a quick fix but it is life affirming and the results my clients experience are out of this world.  I know we are on the brink of massive freedom.   Sit in your power and command with your awareness to have Spirit take what you are offering and give thanks.  We all perceive this in different ways.    

 You can free up vows and contracts and you can further liberate. We have really taken things too far!  Again, everybody does need to be accountable and do their own work.  But lets work smarter!   I have had ancestors say to me, why did you take this on?  I could only sigh in disbelief.  Why did I?  But the answers for us all will come.  We have really been f@cked with in many ways but its still all in Divine order. We are in process! Let’s keep allowing new teachings to come through while staying fluid and open to more efficient and faster ways to release 🙂    Here are some hooks to look out for:

  • Feeling needed and important when I process collective work
  • Secretly enjoy sacrificing myself because I don’t have a high value of self
  • Karmically bound to do this so I can learn my value –
  • Lost in holographic trauma and playing out drama – rabbit holes
  • Committed to a false idea of service and past life obligatory contracts
  • I am so powerful and the other person is not, so I should take it on
  • Entity/Karmic issues

Wishing us all more joy and soul liberation,  Over and out! Love, Jacqueline I am totally happy to work this through with you in a private session so that you can be empowered to fully access this full potential in consciousness.  Its a magic show!  And that’s how I role 🙂 (Women’s Circle in Gozo being held on March 10th.)