I am made in her image <3

I am a woman!  My body is strong, round & sweet.  I am coming out of the closet with all my imperfections to settle up with Goddess and level up with self.  I have secretly loathed my body since I can remember and I am over that sh@t.  I am loving up on her now.  We are in the midst of finding our way back to one another.  This journey is deep and It runs through generations of women who have hated their bodies.  My body is juicy & alive and is brimming with love.  She is thick and has lots of extras all around.  She is curvy, scarred and marked.  She is made in the image of my foremothers and I am trying to find my way back to accepting the fullness of her.  I look around and see a world telling me I am never enough, and that I am too much all at once.  Which is it bitches?   DSC_1279 Recently I realized that my saggy breasts, round tiger stripped stretched out mother belly and jelly like thick wide hips & thighs look just like the ancient Mothers which I deeply revere.  Blind spot?   I bow to them and see their resplendent beauty and yet I have not honored my own beauty.  Mirror Mirror on the wall, THIS is the great fall!!

After this deep epiphany, a doorway revealed and it was filled with love & tears.  I felt all the ways I denied myself kindness and how I whipped myself for not being beautiful.   My feelings towards my body were projections of a violent world that is blind to beauty and  I am no longer choosing to participate.  The photos of Venus have changed over time and it appears she has been put on a diet.  This world will take everything from you, if you allow it.  I would like the inner patriarch to be taken away too, but it appears I have to meet with that guy daily.  I have to remind him that I am beautiful.  Sometimes it takes convincing, but love is much more persistent.  Luckily the Mothers have my back!

Recently as an act of self love I did a naked photo shoot.  My soul sister/talented photographer Gosia Sachryn was the witness to my nakedness.  The session was so tender, and well incredibly NAKED!  I was deeply seen and it felt so loving to allow someone in, to really see me.  I was soft like honey & wild like fire.  I  met so many aspects of myself that day and the photos captured them all.  It was my maiden that really wanted my attention most and there was some deep healing between her and the Mother within me.  At one point Gosia asked me, “tell me what it feels like to be a Mother”.  With my hands on my belly and with full acceptance, I  began to cry.    Something so loving happened inside my soul that day and it is still unfurling.  I was the Magdalene & the Mother all in one and I was beautiful!   belly This is my sweet belly!  It is also my son’s first home.  I was 17 years old when we shared a soul for 8 months and he was a resident here.  The sun rarely kisses this belly as she has been covered in a pile of shame for far too long.  I am cleaning house!  I am feeling like the world needs more woman revealing their true beauty and I am a lady who likes to show up!  This body is precious and so is the woman who dwells in it.  I continue to be in awe of love and how it finds its way through cracks and corners when we aren’t looking. It is time to let go of the stories that have been handed down to us and write new ones.  No more hiding!   In my story I am lovable, brave & wild.   I affirm,  I AM SHE!  THE CREATOR OF LIFE, MADE IN THE IMAGE OF MY MOTHER!

In gratitude,  ❤

All bodies are unique and beautiful.  I am invoking a campaign of liberation.  Free the belly!  ❤  More on this soon!

http://www.themysticfeminine.com

Get off your Knees

I find myself in a massive rooting of cosmic power.  The process is sometimes harsh. As the container anchors down and  solidifies, there is a re-memberance of deep rooted fear of even more ant-life energy and it must be uncloaked.  Navigating with tenderness and bold action takes a trusty hand especially as it is so visceral in my body.  The mechanisms have devolved but they are still crafty and the interference really asks me to step up my level of discernment and use my tools to trust that I am supported and safe.

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It started with a deep inquiry as to why my work is still not as full as I would like for it to be.  Within moments I was met by the violence of an energy as it covered my throat and chest and came up through my spine.  I got my answer!  And another opportunity to get off my knees and BE WHO I AM!  How easily we forget when the illusion taps into the mouth of the wound.  So I know as difficult as this is we are ready to take this to the next level.  I choose life Bitches!  🙂  I wanted to get feeble and take more time to grieve the losses and that is but another part of the loop.  It seeks to immobilize! It is relentless but it cannot stand in the face of truth.  So I showed up this time, I didn’t go into the weepy song and dance or the battlefield.  I held my heart, packed my things and traveled 3 hours to facilitate my women circle.  And it rocked my world and my heart is full!

It got me to thinking about a few years ago when I went to convene with the Black Mother of Montserrat, Spain.  I had been there before but this time was different.  As I went to kneel before the Mother, She said in a deep voice  “GET OFF YOUR KNEES”  my whole body shook and I let out a loud cry.  I got off my knees and stood before her and poured my heart out.

I choose to stand as a Queen, and take my place in my lineage.  Its time ❤

Love & tenderness satiate my soul

This morning with presence, grace aloud me to soften into my feelings which were longing to be seen

In my body I felt my needs not being met, so I met them

Today I gave myself  LOVE

Today I let go of my sadness of not being loved and I loved myself

Today I held myself and spoke the words I was longing to hear

I love you, You are loved, You have done the best you could, You are safe, I am here, You are not alone…

I knew what I needed and I gave this love to myself

Images came and went and I opened and constricted and I opened again

I felt a myriad of emotions, fear and love, sadness and loneliness, tenderness & beauty

I listened softly to what I needed to hear and I spoke the words that brought me closer, deeper… into me

I held my own body, kissed my own flesh and rocked myself

In my minds eye, I placed myself in a hot bath and washed my own back with oils and flowers, I let the tears become one with the waters

I cried because I was releasing sadness and because I was overjoyed to receive my own love

Then I saw myself kissing my own belly, hands on stretch marks, I whispered again, You have done the best you could..And my heart pounded and my body thanked me

Then the sun poured through my window and I opened to its warmth 

I was satiated in the radiance of love like never before – Threshold crossed

I made a sacred promise to myself, to let go again, of all the past hurts and to forgive… forgive myself…

Today I am a woman nourished by my own love, because I cared enough to listen and gave myself what I longed for.  Today I understood, Thank you Mother Divine

http://www.themysticfeminine.com

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Disturbed My Feminine Spirit

You have disturbed my feminine spirit

And have isolated me from my nature

You have discarded my true beauty and sold me to the lowest bidder

You have strangled my ideas and tortured my soul

You have smothered my voice and broken my bones

You have raped my daughters, pillaged my land and killed me over and over and over again.. …

Yet through all of your violence and malicious ways – LOVE STILL REMAINS

For my virtue unstained and my Power still here.

And even though You have destroyed my ways and brought me great fear- I AM STILL HERE

My flame cannot be extinguished, My waters flood the shores, I am the Holy Whore…Reincarnate once more

For my death is iridescent and my essence natures name, I whisper life through winds of time and create it all again.

You can no longer have my daughters nor my precious sons, The great war is no more, Patriarchy is done!

A new time is upon us, a mending of the ways ..the Great Mother is spinning and preparing many graves.

For all must be laid to rest now, great death has come to pass, and with it bring the seeds to sing a whole new sacred path.

DSC_1308You have disturbed my feminine spirit but that is all you have done. And now its time to heal the line and step into the sun. DONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WARRIOR LOVER

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Warrior Lover,

 Its time now my dear

Be brave my love, in the face of this fear

Reveal to me your wounded heart

Open to my tenderness and fall apart

Give into the pain and hear its cry

Your not alone I walk by your side

Allow this love to penetrate you to wake

Your soul is now ready, Rise in faith

Walls melting away, flesh and bone bare

Naked in the dark, trembling with fear

Dropping the shield, removing the armor

Screaming to be touched, counting the hours

Memories of love innocent and free

Erotic passion and sensuality

Once we were One, You and Me

Torn apart by this sickness of patriarchy

 Bloody and raw Warrior Lover

What once was a war zone you come to discover is a garden of life calling you back,

to give your love freely even under attack

To give love fully as an honoring of life

in the face of your pain, I hold you in light

Warrior Lover it’s been a long road

Battered and lonely I want to explode

My body is tattered my back filled with pain

I long for the way you once spoke my name

 It’s been long enough, its time to come home

I am sorry I pushed you away but now I know

 Sacred Masculine, I summon you to awaken now

Sacred Feminine Stand and show him how

Its time to decide what path will we choose

With love and patience we cannot lose

Come back to me Beloved, Remember your truth, I need you now, hear me calling you…

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Together as male and female we merge as one healing the collective wasteland.

 I am the warrior lover – She is me- He is her- They are One – Mirrors of the soul..

 Thank you Spirit for this Awareness

http://www.themysticfeminine.com

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Divine Order

Tree-of-Love-Red

Everything is in Divine Order

www.themysticfeminine.com

Whatever the circumstance in your world, know there is an order to its perceived confusion or chaos.  We are learning, evolving and integrating faster than ever and it is a tremendous undertaking. Many of us are being confronted with health concerns & other challenging situations that are shaking us to the core.  It is not always easy to understand with our minds but each situation creates an opportunity for deep healing.  Sometimes we become overwhelmed and lose our footing but that doesn’t mean that we have lost our way.

Being vulnerable and revealing yourself to others is an enormous strength. If you ask for help, people will show up.  Spirit will always deliver by sending in the right healers or teachers to meet you where you are. When we are nourished, held and supported we can navigate the rivers of life with greater ease and joy.  It is truly in our choosing.  We never have to walk the path alone. It would be my honor to walk with you.  Together we are stronger.   
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Special Offer $120 per session through December 2015

Distance healing sessions are now discounted to $120 through the holiday season. I work with many clients at a distance and the work is incredibly powerful.  In person sessions will continue at their regular rate of $135 but are less frequent at this time.  This can be arranged in Westchester, NYC & Brooklyn.  Please inquire if you have any questions.  Session can be purchased in advance and used at a later date.  I am also offering gift certificates if you wish to extend a session to a loved one for the holiday.

In Sacred space any of the following can be addressed: 

womb awakening~healing, infertility, removal of distortion & emotional blocks, addictions, deep wound release, past Life clearing, soul retrievals, clearing of ancestral ties & karma, contract release, entity removal, purification & re-connection, heart attunements, release of trauma through physical or emotional abuse, inner child healing, More.

I look forward to connecting with you. Please feel free to email me with any questions.  xo  Please join my mailing list!

Warm wishes,
Jacqueline Rolandelli
www.themysticfeminine.com

Reverence for our Ancestors – My Grandmother’s Story

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After coming home from seeing the movie Suffragettes this evening with my Mother, I was filled with emotion. Women, Powerful Women, thank you for paving our paths!!  I bow to you and to the men that supported you in your Sacred work. Your mission was enormous and because of your courage and light we continue in our unique individual ways. Each lineage with their own stories, themes to peal and heal for the collective whole. Acknowledging how far we have come and what life was like for our ancestors. It was not long ago that women had no rights to vote, and that in many places still have no rights. As we know it is an endless topic as we continue to strive as humans to embrace our humanity and release ourselves fully from bondage of the collective slavery. And to shed light on the courage it takes to follow the souls path.  Just by being true to Who You Are, You are a vehicle of great change!

I began to reflect on my own family.  

I share a story of my Grandmother – A story of Courage

My Maternal Grandmother, Ada Matilda was born on May 22nd, 1917 here in the Bronx, NY. At the age of 5 her Mother died of Spanish influenza and her father not far after her. She had 2 siblings that also passed from this pandemic, a brother and a sister. Her family was gone and so by the age of 6 years old she was taken in by the catholic church. She lived in many catholic orphanages throughout Westchester and the Bronx. My Grandmother was an excellent worker so she was kept hidden when potential adoptive parents visited the orphanage. This way she could continue to be enslaved. Before she died in December of 2009, she told me stories of how she was beaten with metal trays. 

She shared a story about the time she was beaten terribly and she ran out with no shoes. She had to walk a very long way and she was in pain. There were a small group of nuns that came to her aid.  They took her in and rubbed her sore feet. She would visit them periodically after school and they would give her comfort and love.  

She lived in orphanages until she was 18 years old. She was in the process of taking vows and was well in the stages of becoming a nun. She broke her back suddenly and they decided she was to be dismissed. I guess she wouldn’t be of any further use to them. Those floors needed cleaning!  She left the convent and moved in with her Aunt.  She lived there until she met my Grandfather, and they were married.  They had 2 children.  

My Grandmother was very loving and kind to me.  When I was a little girl she taught me how to sew on her big clunky machine.  Together we created beautiful Christmas decorations.  We also had so much fun making Italian cookies, Yummy Pizzelle!!  She was an incredible seamstress and made my Mother elaborate Goddess Gowns. She loved the Yankees and it gave her great pleasure to sit in her chair and watch the game.  She made incredible meatballs until her arthritis took away her strength.  Her hands created so much beauty.  

She embraced me as a teenage Mother even though my ways were foreign for her.  She loved her Grandson dearly! While my Father’s side hid me like a shameful secret.  She never tried to turn me on the church but inserted small pieces of information to remind me in some way.  She told me Mary had other children. I read between the lines, All is not what it seems!  That was the message. I was listening Nanny, I know!!    

 She was in and out of the hospital for most of her life.  I wish I knew more of her stories and more about who she was as a women.  How she felt about her husband, sexuality and what made her heart sing.  What it felt like for her to make love for the first time and to hear her birth stories.  Now I carry her through my own body and all of those mystical women and men who were part of our story.  I chose wisely by incarnating into this specific line.  I look forward to deepening the knowledge which has been passed through my womb.  And unveiling the many gifts bestowed to me.  Thank you Nanny!  

I think of all of our ancestors and their incredible stories. They lived hard lives and were so brave.   I don’t really know much about my lineage as the trail has somehow been lost.  I tap in and get information but I have few stories with me. I just feel the sadness in my body right along the power and wisdom.   Women in these Magdalene laundries.. Women in chains.. A constant fight to stay alive with any dignity. I continue to be perplexed that I was raised catholic after the series of events that took place in the name of the church. How the poison still found its way through. My Grandmother chose not to attend church and yet my family continued the traditions. 

So I wanted to honor her and thank her for her strength and for the gifts she has handed down to me. I want to promise her that I will forgive the church and the hands that violated her. That I will be strong and continue my work in this world. That I will be the freedom and joy that she was not able to Be.

Thank you Nanny! I love you

Plakias.. Desire emerges again

My longing grows, it reminds me of the ache in my heart.  I want to be touched, sung too and opened like an expensive bottle of aged whiskey.  My body merges with his and in anticipation I weep.  The rain pours through the mountainside.  I am One with the mountain.  The fog is just a dimension of armor waiting to dissolve into love.

I wait.. I prepare to deepen my Gnosis..

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Crete <3 We meet again

I left Santorini at 4:45 am.  Me and the lovely Brazilians (A fun group staying at my hotel – Villa Manos..We all took a shuttle together to the harbor.  Our boat was late but we eventually made it on.  Due to rough waters our trip which was supposed to be 6 hours ended up being over 8.  It was my first time on a boat like this.. very interesting.. People sleeping on floors.  I slept the entire time in a very uncomfortable chair.  Anyway I arrived around 2 in Crete and I was wading back and fourth for a few days.

I hopped a taxi to my hotel Mirabella.  I dropped off my things and headed out via bus to the Sacred site of Knossos.  It is a magical place, rich with majestic mystery.  It is a must see for those with hearts to truly see.  I did some energetic work there and anchored new frequencies to bridge and connect into the circuit I have been working.  It was gentile and all went well.  I then hopped around and checked out the city of Iraklion.  I made reservations to rent a car and changed my exit ferry date.  I was off balance and needed sleep.  Staying on land is a good idea for a while.  I had a nice dinner.. cleaned up and headed to bed.

Today is my birthday! Morning came and so did my rental car.  A sweet little Hyundai and it came with my navigation system.  I was off.. I headed down south a bit and ran into several sacred sites.  I toured Olive groves, Temple of Apollo, Gortyna and Festos.  All were beautiful and resonant in their own way.  My favorite of them all was Gortyna..  It is small and the energy here was pristine.  I drove around a bit and then headed to Mires, Kamilari ( a small sweet village)  Then Kalimaki.. A beautiful beach town.  I parked and headed for the water,  It was beautiful.  Time went by and I decided to spend the night there.  I negotiated a room at Alexander Beach Hotel.  I watched the sunset and had a lovely dinner at Giorgos.  The greek family did a bday celebration for me.

Rough night in sleep time but all is well.  Today I woke up and headed out.  I found my way to Kommos ( a magical and loving mountain space.. on the coast)  Heaven on earth.  White cliffs fall upon the blue water.  It is a great place to trek.  There is a small church at the top.  I went in and sang a bit and was welcomed by a powerful and loving Spirit.  I am not clear what kind.. She was just radiant.  I think she was an earth angel of some kind,  She gave me enormous support  and healing.  I was there by myself working with her for at least an hour.  What a gift!!  I am so grateful.. She is a guardian there.. She will be checking on me.

I got back in the car and headed to Matala, an old hippie town. Matala is a seaside village in south Crete, near Phaistos, the second-largest Minoan Palace in Crete.Matala became famous in the Sixties, when hippies came here from all over the world to live in the celebrated caves of Matala, next to the beach.

I drove around, petted ponies and stopped in many monasteries and churches to clear and anchor.  I went to an ancient magical place called Zaros.  It is beyond this world and a force of great power.  I will leave it at that for now.  I ended up finding a place to sleep in Agia Gallini.  Met some lovely people.  I had a fantastic dinner at Mezo.. something where Niko met all of my needs.  No face on my fish please ❤  Yum..I then had a massage and headed back to be on my womb call.  It was a glorious day with some interference and hopefully learning.  Thank you God!