As we move along our paths – some days like children and other days like ripe golden women, we come to know that any given moment consists a thread. The threads are like stories, in our bodies all linked to tendons, neurons and a full complex messaging system. Some days we sail on gentile waters and others it is as though we move through the eye of the storm in turbulence. Oh the joy of being human! All of the feelings arise (Triggers) and they send signals through our bodies that make us want to hide, run, go into trauma or implode with so much feeling. For me I stay put- sometimes in trauma and literally fire off and I feel like I am going to give birth. My sensitivity is out of this world uncomfortable. This is my path today and I am learning through it!
I am triggered all the time and no matter how much so called “work” I do, its still there. On some days with more loving kindness and other days cruelty. This is the journey in this moment. When the triggers come and start to fire there are systematic wind chimes that fizzle through this volcanic body, almost like a siren sounding and sending me into a field of tenderness where rivers of perpetual beliefs spin me into a stratosphere. I spin with it some days and others I manage it but really it manages me. Then I temper, it quiets and it starts again until somehow it doesn’t anymore. This is an inner world and what has changed through my so called “work” is the way I meet the world with it.
Anyway, we are human and its important to let others in. Otherwise shame eats at us. So today I faced a trigger and I told my sister about it. I was honest and we both know it has nothing to do with her. She gets it! So in my sharing, I de-armored and aloud my emotions to be witnessed by someone I trust. This is the “work” I think. Maybe we can’t fix everything, but we can be real about what is going on in our relationships with our selves. It de-stigmatizes it and everyone becomes more human.
As a result we feel more safe within because we are sharing our selves (its not dark) its a program one that we are all navigating in some form. In this polarized world we make everything out to be a villain and that is why the body contests all of these emotions. Not because the emotions are bad, but we have placed our shitty judgements on them.
In short, being a conscious human requires us to learn how to navigate the world. We are the ONLY judge and so the journey is kindness. Can I just be kind to myself? Can I just be kind to others? In this gentle brush stroke we develop self compassion and we become less adaptive to the behaviors of the world. We develop a sense of calmness and fortitude and we grow out of the conditioning and become more nurtured.
We need to talk about things that are happening inside and share them with those we love. I know there is medicine in telling truth. We are all psychic and feel it anyway. So why not share our hearts if we feel we are ready too.
I have wonderful women in my life! Sisters that are gentile and loving, gifted and wonderful! I know I am also one of these women, and together we are walking one another home.
